<p style=”text-align: justify;”>In India arranged marriages are in traditions of all religions. Arranged marriages are not a concept of past but not till yet. In Arranged marriages 2 strangers in a martial cord do not enjoy same level of relationship and romance to begin with and need time to get close, both physically and emotionally also. Hence it is always a subject of mystery to how much time these couples take before they can consummate their marriage.
When people wants any answers which are not available in google they go to Quora to ask their most unanswerable questions. It might take some time to fetch desirable answers, assured that the answers will be entertaining. We all humans so it is not surprising that someone on Quora asked question like “How long do couples wait to get intimate in an arranged marriage?”. There are some users who had shared with the earnestness and honesty.
Here are some excerpts from the answers:
An anonymous user shared his opinion:
I was planning to write an article about India and Arranged marriages before I came to see this post. And I read about all the good things in quora about the time taken by couples before getting intimate. I was so happy and motivated when I read such stories. Thanks everyone.
Let me tell you another part of the story or another side which is happening in India.
I have a good friend of mine. She had an affair with a guy for 4 years, who is also my friend. But unfortunately, their love didn’t end up in marriage due to family issues at their homes. And she had to get married to another person within 3 months of their breakup. She was not ready for that; but due to family pressure and everything; she forced to.
We wished good future for her and asked to forget past relationships and focus on her husband and marriage life.
- The day she got married, I lost touch with her. Which I recently came to know that her husband asked her to change sim cards and mobile. It’s okay.
- Recently she messaged me after a long gap. She found my number and messaged me when her husband went abroad. And She was in a bad situation. She wanted to speak up to anyone about her feeling (since she can’t say to parents, and she lost touch with her other friends too). The matters she shared with me were disastrous.
- Her husband forced her sex on the third day of her marriage. They even didn’t meet before marriage nor had any good conversation.
- She said she felt like a slave in those days. She cried; that didn’t matter him.
- Every night he started getting angry at him; since she cried and was not willing to do.
- He forced her for doing disgusting things during intimating session; that a girl who was a virgin had to do.
- She never developed feelings for him even after one year. They never talk passionately or loved each other …the list goes more n more…
Such men do exist.
What I felt was;
- To be a good human is first.
- To respect women and their feeling is important.
- Education teaches you many things (he had a good job, but education background was not good).
- Late marriages (men crave for sex when they get delayed for marriage).
Another arranged marriages user anonymous revealed his experience by saying:
We waited for 8 years. Here’ the complete story. I met my wife when I was in college. It was quick love at first site. We both fell for each other. After short while I proposed here and she accepted. That time we both were immature and didn’t think anything much about future. So after 8–10 months she had to move to her home town since her studies got over. After that we continued for another 4–5 months. Long talk and all that long distance relationship cliche. We used to fight a lot over phone. Sometime I used to forgot to call her or she used to get busy in something else or other. So after 1 month of fighting we decided to separate our ways. It took a while for me to get over this.
Fast forward to 2 years. She sent me a message (sms those days) one day suddenly. She was upset and wanted to meet me. Reluctantly I agreed and went to her home town. In that two years she had a relationship and that guy turned out to be an ass hole. It went upto physical relationship and ended in a violent breakup. I felt bad about this and decided to stay with her until she is ok. We were again kind on in contact for a year or so (from different cities. I had to move to another city for my job).
We were in contact and used to meet rarely. After some time we decided to get married and decided to tell our parents. Her parents straight rejected as there was Mangal in my kundli. She fought a lot with her parents about this but to no avail. After sometime we realized its not going to happen and decided to again part our ways. It again took a while to get over this.
Fast forward to 1 year.
After a year or so I again got a call from her one day. She was doing job in some company and I was in another city. We talked a lot and caught everything we missed from each other’s life. After our first talk it was kind of impulsive. But fate had some other plan for us. The company I was working for got acquired and suddenly we all got offer to move to US. I informed her about this. She was happy and asked me to stay in touch. I did that exactly. Though I was in US, I continuously used to talk to her. We again kind of went back to our first love story mode. Again it all started. And it was impulsive. Trust me guys I tried hard to not talk to her.
After few days of long distance talking we decided to again involved our parents into this. But surprise! her parents instantly agreed (even she surprised with this). Seems my visa took away Mangal in my kundli. It all happened suddenly and within 6 months I married to her.
After all this shit one day I bright up this subject that we never had sex in our relationship. But again agreed to again wait for few months as its already YEARS. I still remember my first night. We slept around 6 o’clock in the morning.
I think the longer you wait, the more and awesome you get. 🙂
This anonymous user had this to say:
Take my word. Don’t look at the calendar. Try and observe emotions, feelings, love, and laughter.
Be a good friend to her. She will open up to you in some time, when she feels can share her concerns with you. Then you both can sit and resolve the problems that have been troubling your marital life.
Wish you strength.
Above some Anonymous user revealed their experiences….